Tag Archives: choices

Hard Message To Write


To all my dear friends & family, I am not sure how to address you today. I ask you to bear with me as I struggle to write, attempting to make sense from the worst 9 days of my life. Before I begin with what I need to say regarding the tragic death of Aaron and the rumors surrounding his death.  I want to sincerely THANK ALL OF YOU for the many kind words, both public & private sent and offered since his passing. I will in time address each one personally.

Because of your prayers, kindness, thoughtfulness, love & support, I believe they are what sustains me, Adam, Anthony, his wife Mel and our families through this difficult and painful time.  I ask you please continue to keep us, our families, especially Adam in your thoughts and prayers. We Love You.

To my Father, Creator in Heaven, Author of Life…. Oh how my heart breaks, but I must reach down deep, trust on your promises and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the twenty plus years I, Adam and family were given to be a part of such a beautiful life, Aarons life. I know his angels must have worked overtime attempting to steer him in the right direction these past five years. I take comfort in knowing we did raise him up in the church and from your word in his younger years, dedicated him as an infant & he chose to be baptized in his elementary years. He was blessed with having a loving brother & family to surround him. He knows without a shadow of doubt he is loved by his family, and we know he loves us.




aaron 20142   When I think of the many mighty men of the bible and the ones mentioned during his funeral, stories within the bible, fit for describing my son, Aaron, I often sense you always nudging my spirit back to Jacob. Especially where Jacob wrestles with GOD in Genesis 32: 24 – 31. So many things I will never understand Father, as to why we were chosen for this specific journey into the darkness of drug addiction. I remember the words you spoke to me in 2010 as I lay on the floor asking you why us, to endure this particular, devastating journey. You spoke to me… simple words, yet they remain, hovering over me this moment. You said, “Renee, you cannot lead where you’ve never been.” Aaron Emery 2014 I didn’t know, you would choose me to lead so many hurting young souls from such a darkness that is robbing so many from having a successful and prosperous life and future with the loss of my son.  You father are so much greater than any drug, high, low, or hallucination a drug can offer.  I pray for your anointing and direction to be a positive voice and resource to help those who desire to be set free from the lie that drugs are fun, and give life. In truth, they rob and cut short human potential and life as is the reality I am forced to now live, without Aaron’s physical presence in my life. I thank you Father for the last month and half of beautiful memories to add to the many we his family will forever hold dear and treasure. You graciously gave us time with Aaron being together to celebrate his brothers success and happiness  with his graduation, party, announcement of his engagement, the many I love you, hugs, and pleasant conversations had with him, even pictures. He never could stand still long enough for me or other members of his family to take a picture. I am just so grateful for those of recent he allowed to remain still for.  I choose to remember the good times, which definitely out way the bad & the struggles.

I believe today as we here who love Aaron struggle with the profound loss of his smile, laughter, strengths, presence and challenges he often presented to us, being forced to accept we won’t be able to hear his voice, nor celebrate his 21st birthday which is on July 20th of this year, just 8 days  from now.

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I know he is in heaven with his many family and friends who welcomed him with loving arms.

I believe he will sit and talk with Jacob about wrestling with God during their earthly life, while watching over those of us he loves here, especially his brother, his soon to be new sister in law Mollee, his precious cousins Abigail, Lily & Kristian and the many friends he deeply cared for and loved.


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I know he is going to have many questions for you Father God, and so it is, as painful as it is for my heart to accept, I entrust him back to you, the angels, and heaven.


I know I do not owe anyone an explanation…… but as said during his funeral….his death  is his message…. and it is my responsibility to continue his message, not for closure, not revenge, not to sow hatred, nor confusion, but to simply bring awareness and prevention that other’s lives will not be cut short as Aaron’s was. I do not want those who love Aaron to waste another ounce of energy wondering what happened, or attempt to find answers. Truth is Aaron is now with Jesus, yes Jesus, his big brother who died and shed his blood to cover Aaron’s multitude of sin, and nothing we say or do will bring him back to us. I do want those who love Aaron to step up and realize each one of us have a responsibility to recognize the fact; unless we do something regarding the drug, alcohol problems in and around our communities, schools,  sports that continues devouring our sons & daughters, deaths like Aaron’s will continue… and I pray what my family had to endure on July 4th, 2014 will not be your family next year or sooner.


What I will share with you to share regarding Aaron’s death is this…. Aaron struggled with drug addiction, and before you pass judgment, ask yourself, “Do I have an addiction?” Whether it be alcohol, coffee, over eating, tobacco, sex, pornography, drugs or something else not mentioned, an addiction is just that, an addiction.  Each brings their own consequence.

Regardless of Aaron’s struggles with his addiction and terrible choices, I do not believe anyone, deserves to be left alone on a floor, struggling for their life, like he was left to do.  Those knowing he needed medical attention who took it upon themselves to make such a demoralizing decision, refusing to call 911 in a timely manner or take him to the nearest emergency room to save his life but instead chose to take him to a house and leave him there without notifying medical personnel, family while watching him suffer, struggling for air and oxygen, I cannot fathom.  My loss, our family’s loss is forever while we remain here on earth.  I want these individuals to know he leaves a grieving mother, father, twin brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and true friends  who cannot fathom where you made the decision to leave him to struggle for his life. I will never come to a place of understanding of such a decision.  Knowing  Aaron and his goodness despite his weaknesses and struggles, he would forgive you and he would have never done the same to anyone in his presence needing medical attention.  Had it been someone else in need of medical attention, he would have saved your life by taking you to nearest hospital or calling 911 immediately, not 5 to 6 hours later.  I want everyone to know Aaron did not  take his life, he did not voluntarily go to a house in Franklin County, he was taken there instead of to a hospital for medical treatment where he struggled for his life, and due to lack of responsibility by others lost his life on July 4th 2014.


To Aaron’s many friends… it is not my place to judge or condemn. I want you to know as he cared for you so I care for you. Do not party as though partying consumes you and robs you of a healthy, successful life and future.  Choose wisely whom you befriend and trust while partying and having a good time.

I will close with this… Aaron Matthew Emery loved challenges… I challenge you to take a step toward sobriety, toward receiving the help for any addiction you may have when you want to party, or smoke a joint or snort a line, I challenge you to reach out to those of us who want success for you. We want to help you; we want you to be successful in life, enjoying life. Take the money you would spend on your next high, or snort or drink and donate to something Aaron Emery loved and played well… the soccer association… sow a seed, make a difference within your community and say enough senseless death is enough. It breaks my heart to see all of you having to spend time in a cemetery to visit Aaron, Noah, Eric and countless others because you choose to not accept the truth… Drugs & Alcohol when abused robs lives, destroys families and leaves many hearts broken. Do not be the next family struggling to make sense of the loss of beautiful life. Do not become a statistic and lay in a grave. 20140711_205653 Do not put yourself in the position of having to look a brokenhearted mom or dad in the eyes and explain why you did not help their son or daughter because of a weakness or bad decision using drugs or alcohol. Trust me when I tell you… the pain is unbearable and I wish it for no one.


Instead of buying Aaron something for his birthday to enjoy his life with this year, I now have to design his headstone in remembrance of him.

If anyone takes the challenge to make a change and needs help you can contact Brett Sapp at 618- 889-7729. Brett is the Celebrate Recovery Pastor at Cornerstone Church or you may contact Tim Buehler, The Journey Church at 618- 727-4019


You can email me at reneeemery15@yahoo.com  or PM on my personal FB anytime or call me at 618- 922- 7961

I hope Aaron’s death, his funeral, his message (a life robbed short) will not fall on deaf ears and hard hearts today. I pray to God his message will penetrate into the depths of the hearts of all those who struggle with many types of addictions.  Life is precious, and I pray you will honor my son by being accountable for your own life and start doing right by those GOD puts in your path.


Aaron Matthew Emery

July 20, 1993 – July 4, 2014

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Two Wolves 

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil.It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.The other is Good.It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied,‘The one you feed.’ 



We do not become leaders when we accept a title or a rank. We become leaders when we accept the responsibility for the wellbeing of others. ~ Unknown

We miss him terribly.

Renee  Emery & Adam Emery


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